Today I was hand-addressing over 300 envelopes and a thought popped into my head. "This can't be all there is...can it?" I think the reason that I was thinking this is because of everything else that has been going on in my life. But working here at my job can't be all that God has planned for me. I was just wondering where the "abundant life" part of my life was going to kick in. It's like I go day to day, just trying to get through my day just so I can go home and hang out with my wife. I hate that! I want more out of everyday in my life. More than just sitting in my mini-office and working on paperwork. I want to be reaching out to the non-believers that are out there. But can I do that from my desk?
I know that a missional life should encompass every aspect of my life, but when I survive through a work day and then baracade myself into my house to get away from the noise of life...well, that leaves little time to spend reaching the lost. Noone comes into the office to just talk. They all want something done, and quick so that they can be on their way. How can I be missional in all of this. How can you build relationships in all this. This can't be all there is...can it?
I think all this is venting from me knowing that God has called me to a greater ministry than sitting here in this lowback chair and working on retirement accounts. I know where He's leading me and not being there is really frustrating me. :) I know it will all work out, but waiting has never been my strong suite. *sigh*
Well, it will all work out. God knows what He is doing even if I don't. Hmmm...maybe he's waiting for the perfect timing to pull me out of this mess and put me where He can use me. That's a thought. Maybe God's working behind the scenes to set the foundation for me and Amy. It sure feels like he's given both of us a spirit of unrest about where we are. :)
There's more to my life than the here and now. There is a grand adventure awaiting me that God can only lead me to. And it will be beyond anything I could ever have imagined.